| The Stoics were smart. They were well-read, well-informed about the issues of the day. They led armies and held public office, they put out great works of literature and art. They had families, they went to the theater. But you know what they didn't do? They didn't spend a lot of time arguing with other people. Once when Epictetus was criticized, he didn't even try to defend himself or correct them. If they really knew me, he joked to himself, they'd have said something worse. Actually though, Epictetus believed that one of the products of an education was learning what was your business and what wasn't, as well as what was up to you and what wasn't. Arguing with other people? Trying to change their minds about stuff that didn't matter? That was a losing game. That was a waste of time. As we said recently, one of the signs of progress in this journey you're on should be that you're arguing with others less, getting in fights less. Because you're focused on yourself—and all the work you have to do there. Because you care less about what others think, because you accept what's not up to you. Losers get into fights on Twitter. Losers make mountains out of molehills, turn edge cases into culture war battlefields. Losers try to impress other people, try to get them to like them. Do they win these fights sometimes? Sure, but they are pyrrhic victories. In the end, they lose far more than they receive in spoils. How does a Stoic respond instead? It's actually pretty simple. "Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be," Marcus Aurelius says. "Be one."  If you're serious about being your most controlled self when the stakes are high, then check out our 11-day Taming Your Temper Course over at Daily Stoic. It's full of Stoic practices to defuse your anger in the moment and will help you find constructive outlets for your emotion—freeing you to work on fixing those problems that stoked your anger in the first place. Learn more here and conquer your anger today! | 
