7 Questions That Changed My Life read and listen on sahilbloom.com read time 9 minutes Welcome to The Curiosity Chronicle, a weekly newsletter where I provide actionable ideas to help you build a high-performing, healthy, wealthy life.
Today at a Glance: - The greatest discoveries in life come not from finding the right answers, but from asking the right questions.
- For the last several years, I've been adding to a list of questions that have changed the way I work, move, live, and love.
- This piece shares 7 questions that have had a dramatic impact on my life.
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7 Questions That Changed My Life "You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions." – Naguib Mahfouz One of my most strongly held beliefs: The greatest discoveries in life come not from finding the right answers, but from asking the right questions. The right question at the right time has the potential to change your life: - See the world through a different lens.
- Evaluate your dilemma from a new angle.
- Uncover your blind spots and incorrect assumptions.
- Expose your self-limiting beliefs.
For the last several years, I've been adding to a list of questions that have changed the way I work, move, live, and love. Here are 7 questions that have had a dramatic impact on my life...
If I repeated this day for 100 days, would my life be better or worse? You live your life zoomed way, way in. It makes it difficult to assess the quality of your daily actions and whether you're on the right course. On a regular basis, zoom out by asking yourself this question: - How would your actions from a typical day compound in your life?
- Would they be driving you forward in the direction of your goals and vision?
- Would they be steering you off course?
Remember the 1-in-60 Rule: A 1 degree error in heading means a plane will miss its destination by 1 mile for every 60 miles flown. Small errors in heading are amplified by distance and time. Course correct early and often.
If someone observed my actions for a week, what would they say my priorities are? There are often two sets of priorities in life: - The priorities your words say you have.
- The priorities your actions show you have.
Living life as the main character means we have a difficult time holding ourselves to the fire. If an unbiased third party were to observe you for a week, what would they say your priorities are? Would your actions reveal alignment with your words, or a dislocation? What are the areas and priorities where you seem to be cutting corners? The ultimate goal is alignment of intention and action. You can achieve it—this question can help. So, be the unbiased observer in the week ahead: What do your actions say about your priorities? What changes do you need to make?
If I were the main character in a movie of my life, what would the audience be screaming at me to do right now? You're watching a movie or reading a book and the main character is clearly off course. You start to feel that internal urge to scream at them: - "No, don't open that door!"
- "Drive to the airport, don't let her go!"
- "Forget about him, you have bigger things ahead!"
The bird's-eye view perspective on the main character's situation provides a unique vantage point—an ability to see the landscape around them and the bigger picture. You are that main character—and your audience would be screaming something at you right now. What is it? What are they screaming at you? What insight does the bird's-eye view perspective provide that you're missing on the ground? Perspective is everything. You need to detach yourself from your situation and see it through someone else's eyes. Remember: When in doubt, zoom out.
What are the Boat Anchors in my life? As you push for growth in your life, there will be people, actions, behaviors, and things that stand ready to inhibit your progress. I call these inhibitors Boat Anchors: You're running the engines full steam ahead, but these Boat Anchors are stuck firmly in the ocean floor, creating an immense drag that holds you back from your optimal performance and course. Examples include: - People who laugh at your ambition or tell you to be more realistic.
- Small actions or behaviors you adopt that are sabotaging your growth.
- Suboptimal environments that you allow to persist too long.
- Self-limiting beliefs that prevent you from doing the things you are capable of.
It's easy to ignore the Boat Anchors if you're still making forward progress, but the drag they create is meaningful and prohibits you from operating at your full potential. So, what are the Boat Anchors silently holding you back? How can you slowly, methodically cut these lines and unleash your full power?
Am I allowing more information to get in the way of more action? Harsh Truth: There is someone out there, way less qualified than you, living the life you want, achieving the things you want, simply because they took action, and you didn't. You live in the golden age of information. Everything is freely accessible at the touch of a button. But all of that information has a downside: It can become a silent excuse for inaction. Trust me, I've lived it: I spent years gathering information and avoiding action. In hindsight, I can admit I was using the information gathering to hide from my fear of action. Information gathering threatens to turn us into a rocking horse: Always moving, never going anywhere. We need to find a balance between information and action. When in doubt, it's safe to assume the balance is found with more action. Dopamine from information gathering is a dangerous drug. Get your dopamine from action.
What lie have I repeated to myself so many times that it feels like the truth? "Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny." ― Lao Tzu There is a concept in cognitive science called the Illusory Truth Effect: It's the tendency to believe false information after consistent, repeated exposures. In other words, if you are told a lie over and over again, it takes in your mind as a truth. It's particularly damning when that lie is a lie you tell yourself. You have an internal dialogue that runs 24/7. The quality of that internal dialogue has a real, tangible impact on your interaction with the external world: - If you tell yourself over and over again that you aren't capable of something, you will believe it to be true. You won't try.
- If you tell yourself over and over again that you aren't worthy of something, you will believe it to be true. You won't reach for it.
- If you tell yourself over and over again that you are a static entity, you will believe it to be true. You won't attempt to grow.
Observe your internal dialogue: What lie have you been repeating to yourself? Recognize it. Fight back.
If I knew I would die in 10 years, what would I do today? You've undoubtedly seen the shorter-term versions of this question: - What would you do if today were your last day?
- What would you do if you knew you'd die in a year?
Frankly, I find those questions minimally impactful, as the answer usually involves dramatic change. If I knew I'd die tomorrow, I certainly wouldn't be writing this newsletter right now. If I knew I'd die in a year, I'd probably be spending every single moment with my wife, son, family, and friends. That's not a particularly useful insight in terms of impacting my day-to-day actions. The time horizon that works: 10 years. 10 years is long enough that you still have a lot of time left, but short enough that it's very quantifiable. What changes would you make if you knew you wouldn't be around in 2034? - What big thing would you finally pursue?
- What fears would melt away?
- What new fears would appear?
- Who would you remove from your life?
- Who would you spend more time with?
Consider these questions deeply. My guess is they will bring a few life changes to the surface that are worth making.
Focus on Questions, Not Answers A beautiful passage from Letters to a Young Poet (emphasis mine): "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer." Focus on the questions—live the questions—and the answers you seek will follow in time.
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